What Kind of Attention?

For some bizarre reason, lately I have had friends and co-workers tell me that some guy is checking me out or looking me over or whatever. Personally, I think it's nonsense. For example, a recent conversation I had with my boss (over lunch at George on Queen East) went something like this -

Boss: Do you get that a lot?
Me: Do I get what a lot? The lima bean salad?
Boss: No. Attention.
Me: What kind of attention?
Boss: Attention from the boys.
Me: Ummm, no? Why?
Boss: Our waiter was checking you out.
Me: Really? I didn't notice.
Boss: He was being pretty obvious.
Me: Well, I'm pretty oblivious. I don't usually notice getting any attention from girls either, and I'm actually looking for that!

I really am completely oblivious. Advice to gay waiters: unless my soup comes with your cock in it, I'm probably not going to catch on. For your sake, you better hope I order the gazpacho.

So, as surprised as I am to hear this kind of comment, I imagine any of my gay friends who may be reading this have been stunned insensate as I'm the kind of guy who rarely pings a false-positive on anyone's gaydar - and in the case of any confusion, a strategic I collect comic books usually sorts things out.

This is not to say that I might not strike up an amiable conversation with a confused gay waiter if it meant getting a better table at a good restaurant. No soup for me though, I'll stick with the lima bean salad.